he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
