The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
