The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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