Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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