Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
