Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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