why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
