this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
