WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize