erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
