I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
