I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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