I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
do nipples grow back?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
