Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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