what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
