Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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