hell yes lets make some ravioli
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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