oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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