I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
