oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
