...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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