sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
