Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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