I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
MIDGETS
????
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
