If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Randomize
