idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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