make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
