Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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