Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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