I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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