how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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