Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
