3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
