what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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