Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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