3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
God, I missed his penis.
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