the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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