I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
