What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
