"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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