Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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