I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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