Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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