we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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