He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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