A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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