Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
