foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
