my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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