Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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