i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
