what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
