I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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