watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
