Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
