You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the day after is always just damage control
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
