I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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